20 Practices to Honour Your Golden Shadow
There is more than enough content in the world promoting being your “best self.” It is easy to be informed. Breaking bad habits, staying motivated or dedicated to a personal development journey involves moving past psychological blockages. Sometimes these reside in our shadow self, which is the dark parts of our psyche that we would instead not take responsibility for. But at other times, we can have a perfect handle on our shadow and still feel stuck. Another threshold that needs to be crossed for any self-improvement goals to be effective, involves passing the landscape of our golden shadow.
Coined by the late Carl Jung, your golden shadow is the unique talents, potential, creativity that we all possess but may be afraid to step into. It can be represented by “The Sun” in tarot. But why would anyone be afraid of stepping into their own radiant light? Quite simply: possible judgment, ridicule, or failure. We fear the words “who do they think they are?”
Here are 20 practices or suggestions designed to help you move past this blockage and help you honor your golden shadow:
Let go of attachment to how you are perceived. Success often involves plenty of failures along the way. By letting go of your attachment to how others view you, you can pave the wave for compassion towards yourself in the naturally bumpy road of achieving your goals.
Chase your fire. These are the things that light you up and from within. They are activities that make us forget time. In those moments we know we are working with soul callings.
When someone tries to give you unwanted, unsolicited advice reply with “Oh, I’ve never really thought about it like that before” and then don’t think about it again.
Don’t be afraid to brag - This is a hot tip from our friend Stefania Bradner. She talks about how as women we have been conditioned to one down instead of one up. “ oh you have a headache, well let me tell you about my week” Instead practice talking about all the great things that are going on in your life. Not to make others feel bad, but to shine so brightly in your power as a woman as to inspire others.
Take inventory of your belief systems and continuously go over them to ensure they are in line with what you are trying to achieve. We can unconsciously take on beliefs from society, our family without ever questioning them: “all relationships are difficult,” and you end up staying in an abusive situation. “money doesn’t come easily” so you don’t seek out the financial support you deserve or need, etc.
Don’t wait for someone to notice you for you to take care of yourself. Don’t wait for a promotion to come up to work hard, don’t wait for a love interest to be in front of you as a reason to do your hair in the morning.
The frequency of giving is the same frequency of receiving. The more time and energy you give to others (whether you feel they are deserving or not) attracts receiving. No sweat.
Be ok with your unique definition of success. One man’s multimillion-dollar business might be another’s freedom to do as they please, or to live in perfect health. It’s ok to not agree with society’s measure of success and instead create a life that is in line with your unique values and aspirations.
Try not to react to “No’s” and instead respond with “I’ll give you some time and space” or just give time and space and check in at another point to take the temperature on a situation.
Experimentation is mostly free! If you are scared to go in a direction then only commit to 30/60 day increments and see what happens.
Don’t worry about if a group of people doesn’t like you. They probably don’t even like each other.
Don’t sacrifice fitting in for being your authentic self.
Practice turning negative emotions into creating positive results. Instead of lashing out on someone who has wronged you, wrong them by being the best version of yourself.
“Don’t take anything personally” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz.
Laugh at yourself.
Honor the golden light in others. Genuinely compliment others often.
“If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity, but you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later!” A favourite Richard Branson quote.
Stay in your own lane.
Don’t compare yourself to others no matter how things look on the outside. Everyone has their own journey, on a circle moving up and down. Everyone gets a highpoint on the wheel and low points. Honour and celebrate each other's high points and be humble on yours. Don’t kick someone when they’re on a low end.
Just because your family of origin turned out a certain way does not mean you are destined to follow that same path. This not only includes separating yourself from negative family patterns but also if you come from a high performing family (all doctor’s and lawyer’s) and wish to do something more spiritual or creative as a life path: Go for it.